It was only yesterday that I had completed a certain application and made the decision to let my life and schedule be determined by someone else for two years. I made a decison, and went through with it, and now my adventure begins. I had somewhat naively imagined that all I had to do was really want to go, apply, hopefully get in, get on a plane and viola...
The remainder on the july and most of august has been telling in many ways. My preparations started since october of 2006, so if you can empathize it has been a looooonnnnnng year of dreaming in picturesque national geographical frames. Colorful visions of me in a foriegn land making a fool of myself, and making up for it with my smiles...a bit unsure, but unquestionably certain. Many conversations with those I trust about why I decided to leave, and after answering so many "what in the world would prompt you to do this"? a question that came with curioustity and a tone of "whats wrong with you", made me always take a deep one before answering. The more I answered these questions in many versions, the more impatient I grew about my stagnant state of not knowing where Im headed or what I would be doing.
I had an idea but..remember when I said that I would be letting someone decide?
As july scurried along and august fell in, my being was filled with the sensation of knowning that Ghana awaits, and Im scared shitless. Not of the mosquitoes that may be as big as my big toe, or the uneven roads that will rearrange my insides, the dry invasive heat that makes you ignore how pruny one becomes when damp. Im not afraid of the wonderful people that will question me with glances or whispers, invited or not. Im not afraid of not knowing, because I will always ask why, how , and when?
I fear only the unfortunate betrayal of time, and how predicatble the sun is. But time will tell, and when it does, so will I. So my dears, the count down to my depature begins, and I hope you will enjoy this journey with me. I intend to share it with you.
catch you later*
L
1 comments:
dont understand your questions?!
Post a Comment